Real Man
by Roselyne
Summary: TOUTing something for 3MB, Heath Slater never suspected that Lady Luck would allow him to get a revenge on his biggest tormentor. (incl. Wade Barrett, Drew McIntyre and Jinder Mahal).


Quickly written after 3MB's collection of crazy TOUTS during RAW 2012.12.10.

**Warning:** I'm a **French speaking person**; my English is probably really bad. But if you have questions/suggestions/correction/etc… don't hesitate to tell me, and I'll make the changes. I'm always eager to improve :)

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**REAL MAN**

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The first Tout had been sent, and Heath didn't know if he had to roll on the floor laughing, or slam his face - _repetitively_ - in the wall of the hotel corridor. Jinder had called Drew earlier to tell him that he'd pick him up with Heath before going to RAW and address their message to the WWE Universe about the injustice they had endured in the locker room on SmackDown. So, as they had approached his hotel room, Heath had expected the Scottish part of their international band to be ready to go.

And Drew _had_ been ready to go. Except for a small clothing detail. When told that he had forgotten his pants in his room, and that he was walking in simple trunk in the corridor, Drew had brushed it off with a smile, not ashamed at all, mentioning that if he had gotten his knee pads on, it would have looked less weird and nobody would have cared. And he was actually right: they were so used to work with the minimum amount of clothes sometimes, that they could lose some of everyday-men reflexes. Put your pants on before going out? What for?

The fact that Drew had locked himself out, with his keys and pants _inside_ the room was so _cliché _that it was utterly hilarious for his two teammates; and so Heath didn't think twice before pressing RECORD on his cell-phone for another automatic TOUT video. He was the type of person to always share with the rest of the world the good and funny moments he was facing. His theory was: make people smile, it leads to a better world.

He just didn't know - yet - that creating those good vibes was about to send some very good karma in his direction.

As McIntyre was facing the door of his room, complaining, Heath mouthed to Jinder: _'shhhhhhh…. Don't tell Drew'_, as he was lifting his phone with a big smile. Drew turned around and started a few jokes, not realizing that the small phone camera was aimed to him. Heath was a bit perplexed at Drew's attitude, even more carefree than usual. As if he was drunk, or almost as if he had smoked something wrong.

Heath frowned, a bit unease, but before he could voice out his worries, the room door abruptly opened, and someone stepped outside, bare chest, holding Drew's pants at the end of a roses-and-words mixed tattooed arm. A tattoo Heath knew way too much. He froze.

"Your pant, you silly Scott! If you can't hold your liquo-". Wade froze as well when he saw the other two members of 3MB. His gaze stopped on Heath's hazel eyes and both men stared at each other with a tension so palpable in the air that you could have cut it into thick slices, and even put some marmalade on. Those two hadn't really spoken to each other for a while, but their attitude towards each other hadn't changed at all; old habits die hard.

To Heath, it became crystal clear as to why Drew was in such a dazed state: anybody sharing a room for too long with that grumpy Brit would soon display signs of psychological displacement, depression, or various mental disorders. The only reason why himself had lasted so long without taking any "happy pills" or jumping through the window screaming _"Freedooooooooom!"_, was because he had built his own psychological defenses. Whenever the crotchety Brit started rambling, Heath would imagine himself on a sunny beach in front of the ocean. With a bit of mental training, he could almost hear the seagulls and the crashing waves… and even feel the wind on his skin. He would only come back to reality when Wade was done, perfectly aware that this attitude would make him look like a hopeless dumb to the eyes of Barrett, but he couldn't care less.

As long as his mental health was safe.

Heath almost lost the staring contest when he heard a muffled sound coming from his cell-phone. Wade didn't understand the amused light that appeared all at once in the ginger's eyes, but instinctively, he didn't like it. Suddenly nervous without really knowing why, the Brit shoved the pants in Drew's hands before slamming the door shut.

And while Drew was fighting with his retrieved clothes, Heath remained still, staring at the closed door. Jinder walked by his side. He was aware of many of the things Heath had endured while in Nexus or The Corre, and the victorious light in his leader's eyes made him smile.

"The phone was recording?"

"Yeah", Heath replied never moving his eyes away from the door, a slight smirk appearing on his lips.

"And it has already been sent to Tout?"

"My baaad", Heath said with a fake expression of apology. "I never deactivated the _"automatic sending"_ option… Oops!"

"Out of context, the LGBT community is probably going to LOVE this…"

"Sure, they will". Heath's smile was getting broader with any passing second. So much for the "Real Man" ultra macho side Wade always loved to display. "It's too bad that I'm the _dumbest person on Earth,_ I thus don't know how to delete a video file from my account", he added with a falsetto voice. He could already imagine the Social Network rumors, the dirtsheets, the cries from Wade's delusional fangirls, the jokes from the Barrett haters…

Revenge was a dish best served cold…

Not paying attention to the discussion between his teammates, Drew had just finished struggling to put his pants on without eating the corridor carpet. He clapped hands on his friends' shoulders. "Are we going to rock the WWE tonight, guys?!"

Heath smiled to his team-member: "Yeah, baby. But we'll make a few stops on our way. Brothers...!", he announced solemnly, "we have something to celebrate!"

"Do we?", Drew raised questioning eyebrows to Jinder. The Indian rocker just nodded with a smile. Drew waited a few seconds, then decided he didn't need a reason behind an occasion to have good times with great friends. He just shouted happily.

**"Ok, let's PARTAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYY!"**

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**END**

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**_For those who wondered why 3MB had gone celebrating in a nightclub, and getting some 3MB tattoos… you now have a possible explanation ;)_**


End file.
